A Peruvian Mother

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for

dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't
help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship
between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the
two interact, she started to wonder if there was
more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered,

'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,
Maria and I are just roommates.'
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying,
'Ever since your mother came to dinner,
I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?'
Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house;
I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her.

But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Love, Mama
Moral: Never lie to your Mama . . . especially if she's Peruvian.

2012 was a Tough Year

2012 was a tough year, but I made it.......

But not everyone is as fortunate as I am......
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
 CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
If the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds" you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them .
 Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.
 Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen. Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan.
When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!!!!!
HAVE A FANTASTIC 2013