Octubre 28, 2009

Se hablo de Halloween y Seguimos con las Sectas Religiosas

A Peruvian Mother

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for

dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't
help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship
between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the
two interact, she started to wonder if there was
more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered,

'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,
Maria and I are just roommates.'
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying,
'Ever since your mother came to dinner,
I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?'
Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house;
I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her.

But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Love, Mama
Moral: Never lie to your Mama . . . especially if she's Peruvian.

2012 was a Tough Year

2012 was a tough year, but I made it.......

But not everyone is as fortunate as I am......
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
 CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
If the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds" you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them .
 Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.
 Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen. Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan.
When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!!!!!
HAVE A FANTASTIC 2013

Let's keep our Jobs in USA ! ! !

A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would. With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American.
Good idea... one light bulb at a time.

Check this out. I can verify this because I was in Lowes the other day for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose attachments . They were all made in China. The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose attachments there. They were made in USA. Start looking ..

In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else - even their job . So, after reading this email, I think this lady is on the right track . Let's get behind her!

My grandson likes Hershey's candy . I noticed, though, that it is marked made in Mexico now... I do not buy it any more.

My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico... now I have switched to Crest. You have to read the labels on everything ..

This past weekend I was at Kroger. I needed 60 W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets . I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an off-brand labeled, "Everyday Value..." I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats - they were the same except for the price.


The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get ready for this - the USA in a company in Cleveland, Ohio.


So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day that are made right here.

So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets ... yep, you guessed it, bounce cost more money and is made in Canada. The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA! I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price!

My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the job you save may be your own or your neighbors!



If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your address book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time! Stop buying from overseas companies!


We should have awakened a decade ago.

Let's get with the program.... help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the U. S. A.



I Passed this on ......... will you???????

SE JODIERON LOS FINANCIEROS......

El tipo se llama Marc Faber. Es Analista de Inversiones y empresario.

En junio de 2008, cuando el Gobierno Bush estudiaba lanzar un proyecto de ayuda a la economía Americana, Marc Faber escribía en su boletín mensual un comentario con mucho humor:
"El Gobierno Federal está estudiando conceder a cada uno de nosotros una suma de U$$ 600.00.

Si gastamos ese dinero en Walt-Mart, ese dinero va para a China.

Si gastamos en gasolina, va para los árabes.

Si compramos un computador, va para la Índia.

Si compramos frutas, irá para México, Honduras o Guatemala.

Si compramos un buen auto, irá para a Alemania o Japón.

Y ningún centavo de ese dinero ayudará a la economia americana.

El único medio de mantener ese dinero en USA es gastándolo con Putas o Cerveza, considerando que son los únicos bienes todavía producidos por

aqui.


Yo, estoy haciendo mi parte..."



Respuesta de un Argentino igualmente de buen humor:

"Estimado Marc:

Realmente la situación de los Norteamericanos es cada vez peor.

Lamento informarle que la Budweiser fué recientemente comprada por la brasileira AmBev... por lo tanto, le quedan solamente las Putas.

Ahora, si ellas (las Putas), decidieran mandar su dinero a sus hijos, el mismo vendría directamente hacia Buenos Aires, donde existe la mayor concentración de hijos de puta del mundo. Che ! ! !

Al Gore and Tipper

Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, were invited to a swanky masked Halloween

Party. His wife got a terrible headache and told Al to go to the party

alone. Al, being a devoted husband, protested, but his wife argued and said

she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of

his good time being spoiled by not going. So Al took his costume and away he

went. His wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain,

and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Since Al did not

know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching

Al to see how he acted when she was not with him. She joined the party and


soon spotted Al cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice

chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His

wife sidled up to him, and being a rather seductive babe herself, Al left

his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just

arrived. She let Al go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her

husband. Finally Al whispered a little proposition in her ear and she

agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just

before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the

costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation Al would

make for his behaviour. She was sitting up reading when Al came in and asked

what kind of a time he had. Al said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I


never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you


dance much?" Al replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When

I got there, I met Larry Flint, Janet Reno, and some other guys, so we went


into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... I loaned my


costume to Bill and he told me he had a great time! with some easy chick that arrived late!!"

Abuela Chateando...

Luego de muchos años años de vivir y crecer en la capital, llega el joven a su casa paterna en una chacra (campo) lejana, a donde sus padres se habían mudado hacía unos años, huyendo del bullicio capitalino.
Lo recibe la mamá muy feliz con la visita y comienza a mostrarle cómo se vive en el campo.
Al preguntar el hijo por la tortuga gigante, la madre le dice que no es una tortuga, que es un horno de barro donde cocinan el pan.
De pronto el joven se extraña de ver plumeros cruzando el patio; le explica la madre que se llaman pollos y que en la capital lo conocen pelados y cocinados ya.

También le muestra eso, explicándole que no es un ventilador gigante, sino un molino de viento para extraer agua.
Sucesivamente va la doña explicando cada cosa que el joven desconoce.
De pronto el hijo pregunta:
- ¿Y la abuela...? ¿Dónde está la abuela...?
La madre le responde:
- Atrás, chateando...
- ¿Cómo chateando...? dice el muchacho ¿¿¿Hay computadora aquíiiiiiiii...???


- ¡Nooooo m´hijo...! ¡¡¡Cagando en la chata!!!